4-30-18, 10:12 PM
Hello fellow LFG members! I am Darth Zan, an Admin on LFG TTT. I've gotten to know a good amount of the TTT players over my last 2 to 3 months here, but lately things have been really rough and I'm not sure the pros outweigh the cons anymore. I want to discuss these issues here as an attempt to shed some light on how I've been feeling and how I see things.
My first issue is the shielding of Demonik and his gang of trolls. They do things so much on these servers and barely see any kind of punishment. Their antics have caused a divided that I've noticed lately between staff and members. If I do anything towards Demonik, I'm seen as being too harsh and "bias" from his friends and him while if I don't give him harsh punishment for his actions, I get called his friend and being "bias". When is there a limit to the stupidity that he causes? This isn't too big an issue if it wasn't causing issues when he is on where some staff back his antics while others don't and it causes this divide line where Demonik knows he can get away with doing some things depending on the staff's relation to him.
Next issue, the servers are dying. I don't seem to see how people ignore the troll clan members who have been seen leaving lately who say "The community is dying" when we have 3 main servers running and two of the three are migrating to that one leftover (TTT) which is booming in popularity as all old returning people are even going to it. This is another issue because we can't hold more than 16 to 20 people without the server lagging to hell and back or the server crashing. I think this is a major problem and its not looking good to me to stay around as staff to a server which seems to have quite the amount already without me which cannot be housed on one server.
Another issue, I've been on TTT way too much lately with an average of 32 hours per 2 weeks. It rarely moves from that number and I've decided I want to do other things since I've been neglecting my friends for the past few months to play on here and its hurting my relationships and is honestly not helping me out any in real life.
Lastly, the biggest issue I've had that needs to be discussed out in the open in a way that doesn't seem too cliche, but its Charlemagne. I can't handle working under Charlemagne for any longer. Its a long story, but in basic terms, I would go to him with questions about my staff position as an operator and he would be helpful, kind, and caring to make sure I was on the right track. This kind of hospitality ended after we had a discussion which we had conflicting views of Zellogi's ban which caused a fallout. I told him it didn't bother me, but he dropped as low as to call me names and base my thoughts on the Zellogi ban on how good of a staff member I was. After this, anytime something occurred, rather it be me asking a question or making a small slip up, I was shown another side of Charlemagne which was just nasty. He would chew me out for hours (without exaggeration) on how I should 100% know the rules by heart when there simply was no rules in the rule book on my topic or if I was confused about when I should make a move on a subject such as what is considered "random lettered names" or "How long is a proper ban for this guy." and anytime he would give me these chew outs, I would also receive a type of message equivalent to "I would stop being stupid, I have your admin app in my hands. My vote is the only one that counts." which only led to more issues.
He constantly calls himself the "best admin of LFG" with no budging to let anyone else take that title with pride from the community and not by their own word of mouth. Aside from this past week, I've been the top person on the server, I was on constantly and juggled a bunch of crap that flew my way. I was new to my job and I was being thrown into bad positions which I felt I handled quite good, I kept the numbers high when I could and I was alone as the only admin really on. During this time, I got messages from Charlemagne saying "Well, enjoy the server, I'm thinking about leaving for a little bit... It might die for a while since I'll be gone" which made no sense considering it had been fine while he has been mostly on Prop Hunt and Sandbox, the community was fine. I felt like I could've been considered the best admin at the moment, but he made it clear that I still wasn't even close to good. In fact, I was still way under him and that was that. He was going to be under the glass floor he had that I could see as a glass ceiling. He locked me down as just being his underling and that was all I was going to be. Any mistake I made was written down by him to me as "You are being useless, bias, and..." etc. There was times where he gave advice that was completely counterdictory.
Demonik for example. When I brought up the slaying issues and his RDMing from that game the next day to Charlemagne, he told me to grow a pair and take control against Demonik, so I made my report and that was that. Next time there was an issue, I was unsure of how appropriate his name was as [RB], so I told him to change it until I could get confirmation which Charlemagne chewed me out for being "bias and picking fights with demonik" when I was sure that was the right thing to do. After the slap incident which I apologised profusely for and even stated those instances where one of the only times I ever slapped people on a massive scale and his messages to me were brutal beyond the point anymore and he told me I was "running wild with my admin privileges and need to stop." when that was the first time I ever did something of worry. I made my mistake and I capitalized on it by asking all parties involved what I could do to make it up to them and to properly apologize. I was given my answers and I swiftly cared for that and moved on, but I was chewed out about it by Charlemagne for being "out of control" after I was scolded previously by other people and I understood what I did.
He has a tendency of being overly aggressive and has this idea about himself that he is the best there is, best there was, and best there ever will be. He isn't afraid to be very open with how many people want him as staff or how good he is for winning the admin of the year award and that he can't be topped by anyone. Its the point that he won't let anyone else be as good as him or better. Its bothersome to get on Gmod and always receive some kind of angry message from him even if I am just trying to ask him about something not specifically stated in the rules and it always turns into a couple hour chew out about how I should know all the rules by now and how I definitely need to step up to the plate, but the truth is, he tells me when I do step up to the plate that I am being too aggressive and picking fight with people when I just try to treat people equally to the best of my ability and adapt to the changes of being a leader for once in my life.
All of these issues combined has led me to the final decision to just step down back to being a member. I don't want to be under that glass ceiling anymore and I don't want to be faced with the contradictions all the time. I want my time to be free again as I just can't keep myself committed to daily chewings or constantly ignoring my friends. Will I still be around? Yes, I would like to think so, but I've seen and heard enough now that I just want to be a member and pop in on my own will. I liked being staff, but I just don't think I can be staff here under my circumstances and I want to help, but I just can't anymore. To the people who may be mad at me for this, I understand. To the people who hated me for simply stating truths about them before this message, I'm sorry that I offended you. You know who you are and you've been nothing but a pain in my side who tries their hardest to uproot the person who could get staff while you couldn't
This isn't my goodbye, but its my resignation from Admin / staffing and my time cut to hang out with real people that I can see with my own eyes. I still love the people that I've met, rather its Shad, Eevee, George, SCMC, Moto, I mean hell, even Zytrol / XL was pretty cool aside from his antics with Demonik sometimes. I will miss the constant hang outs and messing around we did for this short time and I hope to see you guys around.
Peace,
Darth Zan
My first issue is the shielding of Demonik and his gang of trolls. They do things so much on these servers and barely see any kind of punishment. Their antics have caused a divided that I've noticed lately between staff and members. If I do anything towards Demonik, I'm seen as being too harsh and "bias" from his friends and him while if I don't give him harsh punishment for his actions, I get called his friend and being "bias". When is there a limit to the stupidity that he causes? This isn't too big an issue if it wasn't causing issues when he is on where some staff back his antics while others don't and it causes this divide line where Demonik knows he can get away with doing some things depending on the staff's relation to him.
Next issue, the servers are dying. I don't seem to see how people ignore the troll clan members who have been seen leaving lately who say "The community is dying" when we have 3 main servers running and two of the three are migrating to that one leftover (TTT) which is booming in popularity as all old returning people are even going to it. This is another issue because we can't hold more than 16 to 20 people without the server lagging to hell and back or the server crashing. I think this is a major problem and its not looking good to me to stay around as staff to a server which seems to have quite the amount already without me which cannot be housed on one server.
Another issue, I've been on TTT way too much lately with an average of 32 hours per 2 weeks. It rarely moves from that number and I've decided I want to do other things since I've been neglecting my friends for the past few months to play on here and its hurting my relationships and is honestly not helping me out any in real life.
Lastly, the biggest issue I've had that needs to be discussed out in the open in a way that doesn't seem too cliche, but its Charlemagne. I can't handle working under Charlemagne for any longer. Its a long story, but in basic terms, I would go to him with questions about my staff position as an operator and he would be helpful, kind, and caring to make sure I was on the right track. This kind of hospitality ended after we had a discussion which we had conflicting views of Zellogi's ban which caused a fallout. I told him it didn't bother me, but he dropped as low as to call me names and base my thoughts on the Zellogi ban on how good of a staff member I was. After this, anytime something occurred, rather it be me asking a question or making a small slip up, I was shown another side of Charlemagne which was just nasty. He would chew me out for hours (without exaggeration) on how I should 100% know the rules by heart when there simply was no rules in the rule book on my topic or if I was confused about when I should make a move on a subject such as what is considered "random lettered names" or "How long is a proper ban for this guy." and anytime he would give me these chew outs, I would also receive a type of message equivalent to "I would stop being stupid, I have your admin app in my hands. My vote is the only one that counts." which only led to more issues.
He constantly calls himself the "best admin of LFG" with no budging to let anyone else take that title with pride from the community and not by their own word of mouth. Aside from this past week, I've been the top person on the server, I was on constantly and juggled a bunch of crap that flew my way. I was new to my job and I was being thrown into bad positions which I felt I handled quite good, I kept the numbers high when I could and I was alone as the only admin really on. During this time, I got messages from Charlemagne saying "Well, enjoy the server, I'm thinking about leaving for a little bit... It might die for a while since I'll be gone" which made no sense considering it had been fine while he has been mostly on Prop Hunt and Sandbox, the community was fine. I felt like I could've been considered the best admin at the moment, but he made it clear that I still wasn't even close to good. In fact, I was still way under him and that was that. He was going to be under the glass floor he had that I could see as a glass ceiling. He locked me down as just being his underling and that was all I was going to be. Any mistake I made was written down by him to me as "You are being useless, bias, and..." etc. There was times where he gave advice that was completely counterdictory.
Demonik for example. When I brought up the slaying issues and his RDMing from that game the next day to Charlemagne, he told me to grow a pair and take control against Demonik, so I made my report and that was that. Next time there was an issue, I was unsure of how appropriate his name was as [RB], so I told him to change it until I could get confirmation which Charlemagne chewed me out for being "bias and picking fights with demonik" when I was sure that was the right thing to do. After the slap incident which I apologised profusely for and even stated those instances where one of the only times I ever slapped people on a massive scale and his messages to me were brutal beyond the point anymore and he told me I was "running wild with my admin privileges and need to stop." when that was the first time I ever did something of worry. I made my mistake and I capitalized on it by asking all parties involved what I could do to make it up to them and to properly apologize. I was given my answers and I swiftly cared for that and moved on, but I was chewed out about it by Charlemagne for being "out of control" after I was scolded previously by other people and I understood what I did.
He has a tendency of being overly aggressive and has this idea about himself that he is the best there is, best there was, and best there ever will be. He isn't afraid to be very open with how many people want him as staff or how good he is for winning the admin of the year award and that he can't be topped by anyone. Its the point that he won't let anyone else be as good as him or better. Its bothersome to get on Gmod and always receive some kind of angry message from him even if I am just trying to ask him about something not specifically stated in the rules and it always turns into a couple hour chew out about how I should know all the rules by now and how I definitely need to step up to the plate, but the truth is, he tells me when I do step up to the plate that I am being too aggressive and picking fight with people when I just try to treat people equally to the best of my ability and adapt to the changes of being a leader for once in my life.
All of these issues combined has led me to the final decision to just step down back to being a member. I don't want to be under that glass ceiling anymore and I don't want to be faced with the contradictions all the time. I want my time to be free again as I just can't keep myself committed to daily chewings or constantly ignoring my friends. Will I still be around? Yes, I would like to think so, but I've seen and heard enough now that I just want to be a member and pop in on my own will. I liked being staff, but I just don't think I can be staff here under my circumstances and I want to help, but I just can't anymore. To the people who may be mad at me for this, I understand. To the people who hated me for simply stating truths about them before this message, I'm sorry that I offended you. You know who you are and you've been nothing but a pain in my side who tries their hardest to uproot the person who could get staff while you couldn't
This isn't my goodbye, but its my resignation from Admin / staffing and my time cut to hang out with real people that I can see with my own eyes. I still love the people that I've met, rather its Shad, Eevee, George, SCMC, Moto, I mean hell, even Zytrol / XL was pretty cool aside from his antics with Demonik sometimes. I will miss the constant hang outs and messing around we did for this short time and I hope to see you guys around.
Peace,
Darth Zan
I am Darth Zan, a Sith Lord that took place of Darth Sidious and Lord Vader when they died at the hands of Luke Skywalker.
I was taken under the wing of Darth Kermit and I made an apprentice out of Darth Binks. Jar Jar is quite a hassle to train, but I'm too lazy to hire a new Apprentice.
I was taken under the wing of Darth Kermit and I made an apprentice out of Darth Binks. Jar Jar is quite a hassle to train, but I'm too lazy to hire a new Apprentice.